Don’t all raise your hands at once.
That’s the best, except I have a soft spot for people when it happens to them. It happened to me three times in high school, and I swear I will never eat lunch outside again.
Oh yeah, nothing funnier than watching embarrassing things happen to other people. Three times? That’s amazing.
See, that’s where things get tricky. I don’t have the clout or workload to be in need of an actual, paid assistant. That must be nice to brush those trivial things off to someone so willing to accommodate your needs. Did your assistant fold, hang, and iron your laundry too? Let me live vicariously through your glamorous life.
Then it looks like you’re shit outta luck, babe. I almost talked her into it, but no unfortunately that’s where she drew the line.
Oh really? How so?
Everyone’s always bitching about something, not to mention most of them wouldn’t know fun if it bit them on the ass.
What’s a more convincing way to sell the position, though? They’d basically be an intern for my person life, not professional. So really, the only experience that I can offer up would be how to get ink stains out of clothes and how to successfully french braid you hair while in a speeding taxi.
Personal assistants are a thing. Basically it’s just socially accepted servitude. They’re good with getting coffee, too. I’ve even had mine do my laundry herself once.
She’s… Is she okay? I left in a rush, I didn’t get to see her. Look, nothing happened and nothing will continue to happen. We were just talking, and it was just for a few minutes. Why the hell were you behind the ficus anyway? Seriously, Chameleon Man?
She’s going to be. You don’t have to explain to me, like I said I really don’t care at this point. Matty’s in Italy, she’s gonna get over this and that’s all I care about. Well I sold all of my blow to some asshole so I was stuck with downers which apparently make me feel like plants are a good napping area - you know what, screw you. Let’s agree to not judge each other for anything that happened last night. Or any night in the future, just to cover our bases.
I’m smart, I make good points all the time. Cheers.
I wouldn’t go that far. Glad to have you back though, people around here are nearly getting too idiotic to tolerate.
I’m a nerd with a nice rack that brings you presents? Like a new and improved Santa Claus.
…Good point. Cheers.
I guess so
So, what’s been up with you?
Oh, y’know, the usual. And what’s been up with you?